For Just One Guy, She Must Be Pretty And Asian

For Just One Guy, She Must Be Pretty And Asian

A perfect woman had to be pretty, submissive — and Asian for a California man named Steven. A 30-year-old woman from China, on a fiancee visa in the documentary Seeking Asian Female, filmmaker Debbie Lum followed Steven as he sought out, found, and brought over Sandy. Then truth hit. Lum speaks about host Michel Martin to her film.


We intend to just just take a huge u-turn now and also have the things I’m likely to phone some grown folks‘ discussion about one thing that i’m yes, if you reside in a few elements of the united states or ever have a look at dating web sites, you’ll have seen.

Have actually you ever pointed out that some guys appear to have a plain thing for Asian ladies? We’re demonstrably dealing with non-Asian guys right right here. Chinese-American filmmaker Debbie Lum did, partly because she by herself happens to be the thing – one might also state the mark – of the fascination. So she chose to you will need to uncover what it is exactly about.

She interviewed guys whom posted online individual advertisements solely seeking women that are asian. This is certainly simply an example of what she discovered.


UNIDENTIFIED MAN no. 1: It really is their locks. It is the long, black colored locks that is really eye-catching.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN no. 2: oahu is the entire kind that is mysterious of, dark eyes.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN # 3: i believe they offer more consideration to the way the man seems than, often, on their own.

UNIDENTIFIED guy number 4: Yeah. They truly are sort of delicate and types of quiet.

STEVEN: This thing that is little under the attention.

DEBBIE LUM: this is the way we came across Steven.

STEVEN: simply, you understand, the eyelid cut – it is simply like – knocks me down.

MARTIN: fundamentally, Debbie Lum settled on a single man to adhere to. You simply heard him. Their title is Steven and she adopted him as he searched for and found a Chinese friend and brought her to reside with him in america for a three thirty days fiance visa. The effect could be the documentary, “ Seeking Asian feminine. “ It really is showcased as of this week’s Silverdocs movie Festival in Silver Spring, Maryland and filmmaker Debbie Lum is with us now.

Welcome. Many Many Thanks a great deal for joining us.

LUM: Thanks for having me personally.

MARTIN: would you mind telling us just some of the pickup lines which you have actually endured through the years?

LUM: Guess What Happens? Individuals usually show up to me personally and they’re going to state three terms in Chinese and it’s really, you realize, (spanish spoken). They – it is therefore typical.

MARTIN: It Is therefore typical? Where do you turn? The base massages had been the main one i acquired disgusted by, asking in the event that you give base massage treatments. I became like, what exactly is that about, anyhow? So, presumably, that is one of many plain items that sparked your curiosity about causeing the documentary.

LUM: Yeah. You understand, growing up as a woman that is asian-american you can’t live without experiencing many men just like the primary character of my film. Yeah.

MARTIN: What is up with Steven? I am talking about, whenever you came across him – and another for the things you are extremely candid about is that you said you type of – when you came across him, you truly had the desire to form of change and run away. Therefore did I. However you discovered his apartment covered with pictures of Asian ladies. He chatted to hundreds during the period of after some duration. What was that about with him?

LUM: Well, Steven has that which we call yellowish temperature. He‘ has completely, complete obsession with Asian females and, once I came across him, he previously been searching on the internet for five years trying to find a spouse from Asia and in the end decided that she must be Chinese, not only Asian. In which he actually – he felt – he previously been hitched once or twice and then he felt that their genuine chance that is only of a spouse is to find someone in Asia.

MARTIN: Why did he feel their only opportunity at joy will be somebody that is finding Asia?

LUM: You understand, he had been.

MARTIN: simply get immediately. Just state it.

LUM: Most – the label is the fact that males like Steven, who possess an obsession for Asian females, this thing called fetish that is asian desire somebody submissive, old-fashioned, docile, you realize, the most perfect spouse that is not likely to talk straight straight straight back.

MARTIN: And what is fascinating is, whenever Steven finally fulfills Sandy(ph) on the web, he takes a few of trips to China to satisfy her. They choose to get hitched pretty quickly. She would go to Ca. She arrives within the U.S. On a fiance visa that is three-month. Let us simply say that there surely is an awakening that is rude Sandy just isn’t the submissive, you realize, servant which he maybe was indeed anticipating. Let us play a clip that is short.


STEVEN: a small tradition clash taking place. I am alone for twenty years and, out of the blue, I’m wanting to adjust. There is likely to be an modification on each of our components. It is not Asia and I also have always been maybe perhaps not Chinese.

MARTIN: Well, one of several items that precipitated this, just to fast ahead a small bit, is the fact that Sandy discovered she put her foot down that he had been corresponding with a rather large number of other women and. Did this shock you?

LUM: Sandy, through the brief minute she stepped from the air plane, astonished me over repeatedly and over again when I ended up being making the movie. She had not been at all the things I expected and, in the beginning, i must say i did – I happened to be simply surprised that she ended up being the kind of – she appeared to be the original girl which he had been shopping for after which, instantly, she became an extremely effective individual in their life.

MARTIN: Well, I do not desire to provide, type of, your whole tale away here, but i recently wonder that they operating off a stereotype if you think that their relationship was typical of the men who have this obsession or particular interest or yen for Asian women – is. However the label just isn’t real. After all, that ladies – you understand, these ladies – a number of who are particularly effective inside their very own right and possess their very own agency and so are much less deferential as they think. You think that that is typical, centered on most of the reporting which you did when it comes to movie?

LUM: Well, i might state that everyone has their very own tale and that’s actually exactly exactly what the movie is truly getting at. But, when you’re away in search of a female centered on a label or simply just an expectation, say you are dating online and this expectation is had by you projection of the individual you are hunting for. Once you meet up with the genuine individual, it doesn’t matter what your expectation is, it will likely be defied because of the reality.

She’s an income, breathing one who really does talk and will talk straight straight right back very well.

MARTIN: i want to ask you about something, though. You understand, there is a recent study by the Pew Research Center that actually dug in on sort of the Asian-American populace of this united states of america in an extremely profound and type of significant method. And another regarding the items that they discovered had been that, this year, almost a third of Asian-American newlyweds hitched a non-Asian as well as the price of intermarriage among Asian-Americans ended up being greater. Well, Asian-Americans tend to be more prone to marry outside of their battle than whites, blacks or Hispanic. And i simply wonder if any insight is had by you into why that could be?

LUM: Well, you understand, that is a thing that has, i believe, troubled the Asian-American community for several years and many generations along with to end and wonder, could it be – does Asian fetish have part to try out for the reason that? Because, additionally, once you glance at that true quantity, it really is skewed within one way. It is often just as much as twice as much wide range of white guys with Asian females as it’s Asian – white ladies with Asian males. So, yes. It is rather interested.